So what the heck am I doing anyways...

Well here is the skinny:

After moving out from living with my mom again forapprox 5 years I had my own place on the Westside of Vancouver and was supposedto be happy. I had a booming business with a purpose to my career I was helpingwomen and new families- yet I felt alone.

I had friends and loved ones but I felt alone...aclose friend mentioned she was leading a table at an Alpha class and so I askedif I could come. She had wanted me to be a Christian since we met and I alwaysgot angry at the idea I would taunt our conversations with ideas of Buddha and meditationand living in awareness. When Eckhart Tolle came out with his last book I wasso enticed by it and by Oprah who was such a great spiritual influence in thelives of many my age endorsing him and his concepts of personal responsibilityand enlightenment. I went to the forest and meditated, I went to a Sufiwhirling session, I went to medication classes and groups, I bought some Buddhastatus for my house and an “OM” sign to hang in my house...I was still soalone..all this was all about me and my attainment of enlightenment; my abilityto sit still with me but in the quite moments of the day all I had was me.

After my first Alpha class (and trust me being raiseda Christian and hating "Religion" as well as the authority man takesto interpret Christianity) I was shocked that I asked God to show himself to meif he really existed and frankly I was very sarcastic when I asked and did notbelieve he did exist how my Christian friends explained.

...well that night I was visited by the Holy Sprit (trustme it even sounds crazy to me!) and from that moment on I knew there was a Godwho had a son named Jesus and as a result of Jesus dying on the cross we could experiencethe Holly Spirit....I became a believer- a "Born Again Christian"(fyi: there are no other types of Christians than born again-too much theologyfor this discussion).

I started to pray and started to have arelationship with Jesus (again a crazy idea trust me I HATED Christianity!) Iwas no longer alone I could raise my hands in surrender and tell God I couldnot do it alone- I needed him.

My life changed- I started to be convictedpersonally for tons of behaviours that were not congruent with the Christianvalues I wanted to have. I stopped swearing (okay so I have tried to stop!) andstarted to be more aware of my contribution to this world. I cancelled a majorcosmetic surgery I had schedule to make me perfect in a way I always felt I was'less than' and I started to have peace in my heart.

....Deep Breath...

...unfortunately the peace was short lived andafter attending Missions Fest in Vancouver at the end of January 2009 andhearing Tony Campolo (spiritual advisor to Bill Clinton) speak I started to feelthis strange pull towards ‘doing more with my life'. I mean my life has purposebut this purpose is easy for me it does not stretch me, does not exhaust myabilities. I love working with pregnant women and their families I just feel Ineed to do more.

Part of this came from the couch and the tv...ohthe bloody couch and tv... I got this great leather couch and big screen flatpanel tv which  I really thought would bring me happiness. I sat on my couchone day and watched my tv and thought is this it? ...is this really all thereis? To live aspiring to have success and making money and then spending it onstuff?

So I found an organization called Youth With aMission (YWAM) which does a three month "Discipleship Training" andthen a 2.5 month mission/outreach. I thought maybe I could go in a year or sobut the logistics of leaving my house and my business did not seem possible...soI prayed for God to put his will in my life and to put obstacles in place whereI had my will-my will being to make more, bigger, and greater success in theworld I currently knew.

So after literally just 4 months I have made a hugetransformation. I have sold my business, been accepted in a Discipleship TrainingProgram with YWAM in Muizenberg, South Africa and I am planning to sell thecouch and my car and buy a backpack and go to Africa for a year or more to dohumanitarian work. I may work with people dying from AIDS or with orphans whosefamily has died from AIDS, I may work in maternity or in any capacity where Ican be of service to a land that has so much less than we have here in NorthAmerica.

I feel alive! AND I am not alone...I am living fora purpose much greater than myself and I just cannot quite believe this is mylife! (tears are welling up right now...deep breath...sigh...) I am excited anda bit nervous at times. Recently, I was writing in this mission journal Ibought and it asked “what are you afraid of about going on a mission” and Iwrote, "depression, being alone and finances" and then it dawned onme those are the same things I fear here at home so what the heck.  And if you know me jumping in head first wouldnot surprise you!

This Blog will serve as a place for me to share myjourney with you and to share with you how you can also help from home and whatwe as humans can do to change the state of the world some interested and devastatingfacts that motivate me are:

• African Population 700 million
• Sub-Saharan Africa is more heavily affected by HIV and AIDS than any other region of theworld. An estimated 22 million peoplewere living with HIV at the end of 2007 and approximately 1.9 millionadditional people were infected with HIV during that year. In just the pastyear, the AIDS epidemic in Africa has claimed the lives of an estimated 1.5million people in this region. More thaneleven million children have been orphaned by AIDS.
• 315 million people one in two of people in Sub Saharan Africa survive on less than one dollar per day
• 184 million people 33% of the African population � suffer from malnutrition
• Less than 50% of Africa’s population has access to hospitals or doctors
• In 2000, 300 million Africans did not have access to safe water
• The average life expectancy in Africa is 41 years
• Only 57% of African children are enrolled in primary education, and only one of three children complete school
• One in six children die before the age of 5. This number is 25 times higher in sub-Saharan Africa than in the OECD countries
• Children account for half of all civilian casualties in wars in Africa
• Less than one person out of five haselectricity. Out of 1,000 inhabitants 15 have a telephone line, and 7.8out of 1,000 people surf on Internet.

If your stomach turns when you readthis I understand in fact it makes me feel sick. So I am off to AfricaSeptember 22 to see what I can do about it.

Shortly, I will be asking for your financialsponsorship to assist me on this journey as I will not be getting paid to dothe work I will be doing.

Here is a video from a young woman whodid just the same thing. Today I would suggest you take the time to give ahomeless person a dollar or a granola bar from your purse to look them in theeye or to just take the time to call a family member to tell them you love themand frankly count your blessing and be grateful for them!