Okay so after the wildest mirage of emotions I felt it was due time to post again. I have been rather uninspired to write and in fact after my writing conference full of liberal, hippy, zombie writing Americans I feel my zest for writing has been taken away…none the less I felt after once again trying to remember what side of the road to drive on I should update as to where I am at(I promise Chris it has never happened when Samuel is in the car with me!)

So re-integration 101 I will tell you never think you are above what ‘they’ say will happen to you. I have felt misunderstood, isolated, like a burden, over enthusiastic, embarrassed, depressed and best of all-completely out of control in the past few weeks.

I have started to lose my African accent which was noted to me by my best African Friend who then proceeded to ask he “how is your weight going?” which in Africa would not be an insult but in American context brought me quite a laugh to realize I really was a world away.

In the last 6 week I have: applied to mentor youth who are in jail, started to volunteer with the Olympia Union Gospel Mission Women’s Transitions Center, Helped to paint the new church office, been given a vehicle to use while I am here, been pumped on free vitamins my sister is supplying as well as the generosity of all the food and housing needs I could ever ask for! Started a job cleaning a house every two weeks where I got a raise on my first day…, the latest highlight was speaking at a Lions Club to about 20 majority 60+ American folk who preceded to give me an honorary pen for my time, been sung the Canadian anthem to, found a chiropractor, joined a gym, helped to potty train and food train ie Auntie’s Bootcamp my nephew, taken the odd shift at a local coffee shop, helped in the children’s ministry at church, sent my full Visa application away to Zimbabwe-please pray it gets through customs, applied for and been approved for a name for my Missionary charity, taught my nephew some African terms most notably “Oh Shame”, taken a Gospel class, joined a home group, committed to painting my sister’s hallway, helped to plan a church bbq, been to Canada via Amtrak…and now I sit sleepless in Olympia…

I have a to-do list of 15 things on it and last night I had a tantrum…most notably mentored after my nephew…

After my Gospel class graduation we went to get ice cream and then to the local lake for a walk about 9:30pm I proceeded to ‘vent’ or verbally process as I have enjoyed coining this term in my life post Africa about how I am un-satisfied, over ‘doing’ things and just want some joy and want it to be about me!(I have a tantrum like this in Africa on my YWAM outreach which then had the most life-changing turn around for me and my team, AFTER I was done “verbally processing”!)

We walked all around the lake about an hour later ready to go home we saw some homeless people sleeping in the bush by the lake. I thought I saw a child cuddled up and pointed it out to my sister who quickly said we HAD to by them food. She got cash from her husband and we went to the most expensive organic grocery store across the street and not only got hot chocolate but literally enough food for 2-3 meals including fruit, veggies, cheese, meat, bread, cookies, milk I am pretty sure it was a God thing we walked out with only paying $23 as I would expect this to normally cost $40+.

As we did this process… me a few steps behind my sister who was “on mission” I was silently holding back tears with watery eyes and repenting for my selfish thoughts I was having just an hour earlier.

We walked to the people the man we spoke to “Kelly” talked about having been in prison and he would not look at us. I asked if I could pray and he was happy to bow his head for a blessing. Through is grey beard and is tossled hair he quickly sipped his hot chocolate as I choked back tears in awe of the GRACE of God upon us. After we said Amen and said our goodbyes Kelly called out “Love you guys.”

I was changed…

…I am humbled

… I am disgraced by my selfish nature

… and I am ready to get back on track

…I get that it needs to be God’s Will God’s Way.

There are homeless where you are…ask  God today what can “I” do? What do you have for “ME”? What shall I do for “YOU”.

Bless you tonight as you sleep in a warm bed with a full belly we have so much to be grateful for!

J