Joel 1:14, "Sanctify ye a fast, call a solemn assembly, gather the elders and all the inhabitants of the land into the house of the Lord your God, and cry unto the Lord."

Matthew 6:16-18 "Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.”

So I woke up today with a renewed understanding of my relationship with God. I feel alive this morning. Woke at 7am tried to sleep for 30min… no luck so I drew a bath, which the bathroom as always been my “sweet spot”- place to connect with God- I hear this is true for many mothers as well. Shut and lock the door, turn on music (today Laura Reinhart) Soak in the presence of God through the music as well as just a surrendered place… while in the tub. My old house in Vancouver had a deep soaker so I really ‘soaked’!

Today I have committed to God to start  5 days of prayer and fasting. My sister is in Disney Land (kinda ironic- one of the most stimulating places in the world…and I am basking in quiet and peace) So it is no food for me this week. I asked God what I can take and this morning I clearly got Rooibos tea, honey and small amounts of milk(judge not!) this is what I got…last time there was no milk until about day 10 of my 21 day fast. I also am clear it will be NOTHING else!

I already feel closer to him. I feel as thought I am able to feel his presence. It surrounds me like a flood of warmth and then I start to cry. My eyes close and I just feel like I can see ‘through’ everything. Through all the chaos and all the drama and I feel like I am being beckoned closer.

…Gently led by the hand to walk a calm, slow walk with him. I am in the best place I could know walking with him… along a beach.

 The moist fragrant sand sinking just a bit as I move forward. Glistening prints of my existence are left behind and the path ahead is endless. I begin to dance…my arms floating along side my light and ‘perfect’ body. I could fly if I wanted…

 The soft salt filled breeze takes me away as I just focus on what he has ahead, where does he want me to go? I don’t even care, to be honest, I just know one foot forward.

… the experience is sheer bliss…oh to start the day like this everyday…

                                                         
“Thank you Father, you have not forgotten about me. It has been so tough recently. I have felt like giving up. I just don’t understand. Please teach me to have a heart without a will of it’s own and to never question your love and your sovereignty. I know you love me and I draw to you today to enjoy more of you…speak to me papa…I can’t do this without you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”