I woke up this morning and I looked around my room and I started to worry…

What am I going to pack with me back to Africa? What will I have to get rid of-even more than I already have… and what have I missed out on doing while in America? You know like renting a movie on Netflix for ‘free’ I have wanted to see and now I won’t get to see it or have I stocked enough vitamins to take with me and Will I find the perfect new hoodie to take as a jacket before I go…I am wanting it to be perfect!

Just 24 more days in North America and then “’To Infinity… and Beyond” (okay had to through a Buzz Light year move in there I was at Disneyland last week!)

So it has been a while since I have written on my blog and I look at my life and realize everyday has been amazing in it’s own way…there are daily disappointments…from people and from myself and from structures like the church or like the organization where I will work…or even government(still waiting on my Zimbabwe visa) but all in all I am really getting THIS IS LIFE!

My time in America (I mean North America but foreigners just understand “America” better) has been challenging. I came out of the bush to return home to help my sister and her family grieve the loss of a child…how do you do this? …

After waking up scattered I realized I needed God… I mean really needed that rich relationship with him. I kinda had it on ice for the past 6 weeks and now it is back. I want the bible and I want God and I want the peace that comes from knowing he has it handled…

How to grieve the loss of a Child- a 10 point plan:

No, I am not going to write this but this is what society wants and this is what I wanted…I mean my sister had not met her baby she should be okay… she’ll get over it right? Well, as any mother can say from the beginning of the cells forming until…”infinity and beyond”…the love a mother has for her child does not end when they die, or disappoint or when they separate themselves as an adult for whatever reason…you see when I look at the love God has for me and the identity I have in him I see this is the purest love …the perfect love .  We can compare to a mother and child or a father for that matter…so how to grieve the loss of a child??? Get closer to that love and know the love you have for your child will never end and will never burn out…

I feel compelled to open up my blog to women who want to share about their children they have lost…the pain, the sadness, and for families where it is a physical loss due to disagreement etc the excitement of reconciliation…My sister will never get to reconcile with Madelynn until the day she goes to heaven but she can reconcile the love God has for her and the love he has given us…

Ladies, I open this to you…feel free to put in a alias name and email if you wish and share…share what the loss of you baby at 8 weeks was like, what it was like to give birth to your baby who had already gone to heaven and wise women who are separated from their adult children tell us your pain…

I have realized- NO ONE understands this…this love and this loss fully…oh yes you can experience it but to understand it I think we need to leave that to God…the pain can be lessened I think when we open up and share. I have met so many women during my time in America who have had a miscarriage or still birth who now because I am open to talking about what it is like for an “Auntie” to lose her niece can share the loss of their child.

You see in Africa, it happens all the time…in fact women and men are losing children due to poverty or AIDS or violence and it has become a norm…BUT God has not made them different than you or I….they need to be given permission to grieve…

I thank the Lord he has taught me this kind of compassion and I pray he will bring women to me who need their hearts to be healed and through the love of Christ we can go in and breathe the life and love of Jesus on them!

Thanks Jesus! I am back!

J

I would like to introduce to you my Niece this is Madelynn Grace (I am sure I would have called her Maddie)