So Alice is in her most beautiful party dress ever, her mother has pressed it and fluffed her crinoline, her golden strands have been brushed and curled and tied with a matching bow to her handmade, and most treasured dress. “Go play my child, we are having a tea party today, do not get yourself dirty.” Her mother kisses her on her forehead and watches her walk away. Alice just loves tea parties the tea is so sweet and the pastries are so fluffy and with powdered sugar they stick a bit to your fingers which you get to remedy by a quick lingering lick so as to not let any of the experience go to waste.

Alice sets out into the yard, her hands behind her back she is swinging her feet as she steps on the plush green grass. She looks up to the clouds; they seem to dance right before her. She keep wandering further out and now walks under the canopy of the large evergreen trees, the scent of these ancient friends is so deep and alluring, she walks on… “oh look there is a bunny jumping, I think I just saw a buck”.  The beauty and the innocence of the forest calls her. Then it starts to hit, a small yawn, “oh that tree looks so strong and yet so welcoming, I will just sit here for a while”, Alice tucks herself in, rests upon the spongy yet dry moss and slowly her eyes close…

When she wakes there is a rabbit…and oh he is much too late…for a very important date!

Alice follows him and before she knows what is happening she is in the hole.

“Where I am ?” She asks.

Before she can get an answer she meets a series of just unbelievable adventures! She has to eat strange things, and speak strange languages; her dress gets dirty and even torn. She meets new people, some she likes and some she does not. She is overwhelmed by joy, fear, adventure, purpose and curiosity. She feels like she belongs yet she longs to be home once again…

AND before she even knows what is happening she lays down to rest and then she hears her mother calling. “Alice! Alice! Where are you? Come my child the guests have arrived and the tea is hot.”

She looks at her dress, it is clean, there is not one snag on it. Not one sign of the ‘hole’. “But…But….But what about the hole? The people, the languages, the land, the suffering, the joy, the friends, the purpose?”

*                                            *                                             *

So all I can say is, “THERE WAS A HOLE!” It was real! But everyone seems to just want me to come to the tea party. I was in Africa in total for 20months. I had two trips starting in Sept 2009 and a 6 month stay in the US with my sister in between. Oh God, there was a hole right?

I have been back in the US for 2.5 weeks now and I think I am starting…just starting to allow the hole to open up and to process what has been my world for the past 2 years. I have tried to join the party, I will get an iphone and I will get new clothing and I will go to church…NOPE!!!

Nope, no iphone for me! Nope, I do need a big wardrobe! Nope, I cannot play church again this Sunday!

Stay tuned and please pray for me as I find a new tea party to attend…